


Destiny

by diandrahollman



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Male Character, Female Loki (Marvel), Hela is Loki's Daughter, Hurt/Comfort, Infinity War semi-compliant (in future chapters), Intersex Loki (Marvel), Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Other, Possibly non canon character resurrection, Pregnant Loki (Marvel), Shapeshifter Loki (Marvel), So much angst, Temporary Character Death, loki lives, sci-fi conundrums, temporary canon character death, vague references to past torture, wibbly wobbly timey wimey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-02-18 06:12:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13094103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diandrahollman/pseuds/diandrahollman
Summary: Thor returns to Asgard after the battle of Sokovia to find Loki occupying the throne. As a Queen. A very beautiful, very pregnant Queen. It's a long story...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was swirling in my head since I recapped the first Avengers movie and it solidified a few days after seeing Ragnarok. I am not at all well versed in this canon and this is my first MCU story, so apologies for all the things I will no doubt get wrong. I'm learning.

Thor expected to find Loki on the throne when he returned to Asgard. Rumors that the citizens had begun to honor Loki as a great hero in the battle against Malekith pointed to him having some sort of presence. What he didn't expect was to find his brother occupying the throne as a Queen. An ethereally beautiful, extremely pregnant Queen.

Her smile was radiant as she welcomed home the "prodigal son" of Odin, but as she embraced him, she hissed in his ear "don't say a word, brother." As he saw no advantage to calling out the deception before he knew the extent of it, he didn't.

He followed her to the chamber that had once belonged to their mother and waited while she dismissed her guards.

"Loki..." he began once they were alone.

"It's Lorelei now, although you should probably address me as Your Majesty."

Thor snorted. "What sort of game are you playing at? More importantly, what did you do with our father?"

"Odin is dead. Or he will be sooner than later. He is very old and losing his faculties. You knew this would happen eventually." Thor opened his mouth, but Lorelei held up a finger. "Allow me to explain. When I took his place, I relieved him of his powers and brought him to the place where all of your beloved humans bring their elderly parents. I checked on him regularly. On my last visit it was made clear to me that he is deteriorating faster than I had anticipated. I couldn't maintain the illusion of his power much longer. And so, three months ago, 'Odin' announced that he had discovered an heir. An Asgardian living on a planet in a distant corner of the realms was carrying Loki's child." She ran her fingers over her swollen middle.

"Three months," Thor interjected, eyeing the swell.

"I can see what you are thinking, but I assure you this child is very real. I spent just enough time on a planet where time is significantly slower that I could return to Asgard like this."

"So the father is..."

"A very powerful wizard." She gazed down at her abdomen almost fondly, her fingers still absently stroking. "You see, I realized that ruling Asgard in the guise of the Allfather wasn't enough. You refused the crown and Loki died heroically defeating Malekith. Even if I revealed that I had survived, without an heir I would be vulnerable to our enemies. They would know that if they killed me, Asgard would be entirely without a ruler."

"And it never occurred to you to try to find a wife to bear your child?"

Lorelei hesitated, as if this had not, in fact, occurred to her. Then she sighed heavily. "This is no ordinary child. She will be powerful. Fearsome. A worthy Queen to rule Asgard in the event of my demise. Of course, after she is born I intend to reveal my true identity. Perhaps then I can consider more children, but it doesn't matter. I intend to live a long life."

"Wouldn't be so sure of that," Thor muttered.

"Was that a threat?"

"No, your majesty. It was a promise. You see, I know you. Your plotting and deceptions always catch up to you eventually. When the people of Asgard learn of your manipulations I doubt you will be able to maintain your hold on the throne. They will revolt."

Lorelei/Loki waved a hand, as if dismissing Thor's prophecy as ridiculous. "The people are easily led. They believe what they want to believe. You will not sway them."

"I don't have to. Heimdall can see everything. The people would believe him if he were to come out of exile and tell them what you have been doing these past years."

Lorelei/Loki glared. "You wouldn't."

"Of course it would be far easier if I simply reclaimed my own right to the throne as first born. I don't really relish the idea, but if your child is as worthy as you believe, I could always abdicate to her when she is of age. You, of course, would be banished."

Lorelei/Loki glared at Thor, her hands curling into fists.

"And before you get any ideas about killing me, I should remind you that Heimdall really can see all."

There was a long pause while Lorelei/Loki considered her options. "Well," she finally said. "What do you propose to do?"

"Take me to our father. I want to see his condition with my own eyes before deciding on a course of action."

"I am hardly in any condition to go travelling about the universe at the moment. You know how unpredictable pregnancy is for us. I could go into labor any day."

"Or not for several more years. Luckily we only need to go to Earth since you said you left him with the humans. You might still be wanted for your actions years ago, but your present form will conceal your identity."

She glanced down at her abdomen. "It will not fool the child's father."

Thor frowned. "You said he was a wizard."

"Yes. Earth's most powerful sorcerer."

Thor snorted. "You must be mistaken. Earth doesn't have wizards."

Lorelei/Loki smirked. "You have been away a long time, brother."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has gotten more attention than I ever expected. Thank you, everybody leaving kudos and replies! 
> 
> And now for a different spin on the scene from "Ragnarok", previewed in the post-credits of "Doctor Strange"...

"Thor Odinson," the voice boomed.

Thor watched in amazement as the man - by all appearances a normal Earthen man - floated through the air toward him. 

"I am Doctor Stephen Strange," the man continued, landing in front of Thor. 

"You must be the wizard Loki spoke of," Thor said, dazed. "I didn't know Earth had wizards." Was this some sort of enhancement?

Everything shifted and Thor fell into a cushioned chair, the human calmly seated opposite him. "Tea?"

A cup filled with tea appeared in Thor's hand while he was still trying to get his bearings. "I don't drink tea," he muttered, sniffing at it warily and going to set it down. It disappeared and a mug filled with beer appeared in its place. He blinked at it, shrugged and took a tentative sip as the impossible human continued speaking.

"I keep a watch list of individuals and beings from other realms that may be a threat to this world. Your adopted brother Loki is one of those beings."

Thor swallowed a mouthful of beer and noted that this was fair. Loki did, after all, open a portal to allow the Chitauri attack on a major Earth city. He boggled as beer magically refilled the glass. It was a trick he had seen before, sure, but never on Earth.

"So why bring him here?"

"It's a bit of a long story, but we're looking for my father."

"Great," the sorcerer said abruptly. "So if you were to find Odin, you would all return to Asgard." 

All. Thor set down his glass. "Where is Loki? Where are you keeping her?"

Stephen's eyebrow cocked. "Her?"

'He doesn't know,' Thor realized. Somehow, the sorcerer had taken her captive without knowing the full extent of her current condition. "Loki is Jotun. He can change his shape. He has been posing as the Queen of Asgard. She is pregnant."

The amused look on Stephen's face faltered. "Pregnant?" When he'd used the infinite loop spell he had intended to scare Loki. He doubted anyone would object to him simply killing a known global threat, but first do no harm and all that. He figured he would just torture the demigod a bit before handing him back to his brother and hope it would make him think twice about visiting this planet in the future. But if what Thor said was true...both Loki and the child could be killed. "Hang on a second."

He teleported to the Sanctum's library and located the book he vaguely remembered finding the spell he would need in. He thumbed quickly to the page, muttered the words under his breath, replaced the book and returned to the main floor with an obviously dizzy Thor.

"Stand back," he ordered before opening a portal in the air in the center of the room.

A dark haired woman in a very tailored maternity dress tumbled through the opening, screaming in alarm. Stephen gestured and she stopped, hovering in mid-air, the front hem of the dress just brushing the floor.

"I have been falling for thirty minutes," she spit angrily. 

Stephen stepped closer. He knew that voice...that hair...the feminine curves... He reached a shaking hand out to push aside the dark hair that had fallen in front of her face. 

She smiled devilishly. "Oh. Hello, Stephen."

Stephen stepped back, startled, and she grunted as she crashed to her hands and knees.

Thor rushed to help her up.

"Lorelei," Stephen murmured numbly. 

Three months ago, when his on-again off-again relationship with Christine had been firmly in the "off" phase, he had met a gorgeous seductress who had been just as eager to dispatch with the formalities of dating as him. They had spent a very long, passionate night together. She had been insatiable, demanding and more than willing to pick up the slack when his scarred hands hindered him. He often thought of that night. How she had looked writhing on top of him. How she had sounded. How she had tasted.

He knew it had been Loki he had dropped into the infinite loop. But impossibly, it was a visibly pregnant Lorelei that faced him now. She had always been Loki, he realized. But he could have sworn he had used protection... 

It didn't matter, he realized. Loki Laufreyson was a master of illusions. In fact...

He swiped his hand in Lorelei's direction and she gasped, startled, as her dress tore, exposing a patch of her bulging abdomen. 

"Really," she laughed. "I know it was difficult for you to keep your hands off me before, but you could show a little restraint, Stephen. My brother doesn't need to - augh!"

Stephen's hand twitched and the tear widened. 

"Enough," Thor snapped. "I can assure you the child is very real."

Stephen let his hand fall and Lorelei/Loki gathered the torn fabric, drawing it closed as best she could and then running her fingers along the seam, sealing it with a small burst of magic.

"How," Stephen demanded.

"You know very well how," she purred. "You were there."

Stephen glared and Thor looked away uncomfortably.

Lorelei/Loki sighed. "You also understand the concept of time dilation if the stories I've heard about you are any indication." She stepped toward him, her hands outstretched. "Look, I've no demands or expectations of you. We've simply come here to find our father."

This seemed to jolt Stephen back into action. He disappeared and reappeared moments later with a heavy book in his hands. "He's in Norway," he announced without looking up. He disappeared again and from somewhere, the sons of Odin could hear him give the name of a town on the coast.

The next time he materialized, it was right beside Lorelei. She hissed as he grabbed her by the wrist, although there wasn't much strength to his hold.

"Why," he asked, his voice low and icy.

She didn't pull her hand away, even though she knew she could do so with little effort. "It is not your concern."

"You are carrying my child. How can that not be my concern?"

"It is MY child. If my brother hadn't forced me to come back to this insignificant planet, you wouldn't even have known about her."

Something cracked in Stephen's expression. "Her..."

Lorelei/Loki bit back a groan. This was the other reason she had been apprehensive about returning to Earth now. Strange may have been the only human who would recognize her in this form - and he couldn't really be said to hold a grudge over the Chitauri incident - but humans were so prone to *sentiment*. He would feel compelled to lay some sort of claim to his offspring. "You've already done your part, Stephen."

A muscle twitched in Stephen's jaw and Lorelei/Loki's fingers gave an answering twitch, ready to draw a dagger if the sorcerer proved dangerous.

Not that she ever shied from danger. She leaned in close, tracing the forefinger of her free hand over his beard. "Although I did quite enjoy it. As did you. Five times, if I remember correctly." She had barely needed to use magic to keep him going. Even when he had been exhausted, he was still so eager and compliant. She leaned in until her breath warmed his ear. "Maybe one day I'll come back in my male form and we can try to break that record," she whispered.

The Sanctum disappeared suddenly, along with its master. Lorelei/Loki stumbled and nearly spilled face first into the grass underfoot.

"Not even a goodbye," she muttered. "Insolent human."

"Loki," Thor called. 

Lorelei/Loki looked in the direction he was staring. Their father was sitting on a rock, gazing out at the sea. Right. She straightened. First things first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really the closest I will come to following the canon in this story.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is going to be short, but it is the biggest turning point in this story, setting the stage and tone for the coming chapters. I realized I forgot to tag this story "angst". Sorry about that. The tags are fixed and updated now.
> 
> Fast forward to the end of Ragnarok. All the events of that movie happened more or less as they did aside from Loki being a pregnant female the entire time. So obviously Thor didn't electrocute her for, like, hours. 
> 
> Spoilers for Ragnarok and a significant plot twist ahead.

Thor didn't know how Lorelei/Loki was able to bend the Grandmaster to her will, exactly. She assured him the Grandmaster had not made any advances toward her, though his desire was obvious. She figured he had just enough reservations to wait until she was no longer pregnant with another man’s child before making a move. He didn’t know how long that would be, but he could afford to be patient.

Lorelei/Loki managed to distract him long enough for Thor, Bruce and the Valkyrie to get a head start escaping Sakaar. Thor hadn’t expected her to follow so closely behind. If he hadn't been so busy battling Hela and her undead hordes, he might have been amused by the shock on the faces of their people as the pregnant queen of Asgard returned to fight beside its eldest prince. Arriving at nearly all of Hela's soldiers had been dispatched, she didn't have to be on the battlefield for long, but she had volunteered to summon Sutur to end it.

As they travelled to Earth, she had formally relinquished the title of Asgard's ruling sovereign to the first born son of Odin...for now. Thor wasn't sure if Loki would try to reclaim the throne himself after his daughter was born or if, given the drastic change in circumstances, he would be content with the new arrangement. Asgard may be the people, not the place, but Thor suspected ruling a band of refugees fell significantly short of Loki's aspirations.

Then Doctor Banner made a discovery that changed everything.

"I've been going through the records that were rescued before...well, before...it turns out Odin's wife Frigga only ever gave birth to one child. You."

Thor frowned. "Hela wasn't their daughter?"

"Not biologically. They adopted her when she was an infant."

"Like Loki." 

"Yeah. Whether anybody else knew she wasn't related by blood isn't clear from the records. But it looks like Odin didn't know who her biological parents were. He had her DNA tested when she was a child. She wasn't Asgardian." Bruce hesitated before handing the device displaying the DNA result to Thor. "She was half Jotun and half human."

Thor frowned. "There was another?"

"That's the thing. See, DNA evolves over time. We can tell from certain markers generally when a person lived in human history. Hela was thousands of years old, but her human parent had markers that could only have come from someone who was born in Earth's 20th century."

Thor blinked at the display, not really understanding it. "How is that possible?"

"I don’t know."

Thor handed the device back and checked outside the private chamber to make sure nobody was listening before continuing. "Can you compare this DNA to the child Loki is carrying?"

Bruce looked wary. "It's too difficult and risky to test DNA before the baby is born. But...it has to be her, right?"

"You didn't find anything indicating how Odin came to adopt her or where he found her?"

"No. It looks like he tried to bury the evidence that she wasn't his. He may have suspected Frigga couldn't have children. Hela may not have known she was adopted." Bruce shifted uncomfortably for a moment. "Could she really be Loki's baby? I mean...is that even possible?"

"Anything is possible."

"Right, but...she was thousands of years old."

Thor sighed. "I know. Keep looking. There must be some way to figure out where Odin found her and how she came to be there. Maybe talk to Heimdall."

"Should we tell him? Or...I mean...her? Lorelei?"

Thor thought about it for a lengthy silence. "Let me speak to her."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next several chapters are going to get into some heavy discussions of time travel and choice.

"I must admit, this isn't how I pictured us meeting again."

Lorelei/Loki sighed wearily. "I need to have a word with you, Stephen. Can I come in?"

The look in her eyes – and the fact that she was asking permission despite him abducting her during their last encounter – made Stephen hold back the snarky comment that had sprung to mind about the god that once tried to take over the planet asking to be let into the sanctum. He stepped aside and waved her in.

She stopped at the foot of the staircase – the same spot they had stood weeks...no months ago when this all began. She touched her bulging abdomen, feeling the baby move inside her, twisting and jabbing her with what might have been an elbow. 

There was a small gust of air and she found herself transported to a sitting room, Strange catching her elbow as she tottered. He eased her into a chair. A mug of tea appeared in her hand. She thanked him meekly, but didn’t drink it.

"I heard about Ragnarok," Stephen said as he fell gracefully into his own chair. "Word is you played an instrumental part in saving the people of Asgard by bringing about an apocalypse."

Lorelei swallowed thickly, her fingers tightening around the mug, feeling the ceramic start to crack.

"Some are calling you a hero. The savior who raised Sutur to defeat the Goddess of Death."

Lorelei threw the mug across the room suddenly. It shattered mid-air, sending shards of wet ceramic into the floorboards, banister and nearby bookshelves. She screamed furiously and the table beside her chair skittered sideways and tipped over.

The surrounding sanctum disappeared, replaced by what looked like walls of mirrors set at jagged angles. Stephen was regarding her warily, his hands still raised after conjuring the illusion. She lunged at him, backhanding him viciously. He staggered and conjured a glowing shield between them before she could strike again. 

He wasn’t fighting back. He was merely defending himself and the sanctum from her wrath. She knew it was because he feared hurting her and the child, which only fueled her anger. She threw a dagger at his shield. It bounced off harmlessly. She screamed insults to try to goad him into fighting. She lunged toward him, preparing to throw another dagger, but was stopped short when something wrapped around her. She looked down to find the sorcerer’s cape - imbued with some sort of sentience - holding her immobile. 

"Get it off me," she screamed.

The doctor relaxed and the mirrored walls disappeared, his shield evaporating. "I don't control it."

She hissed and spat and struggled against the confining fabric until her fury expended itself and she went limp with a sob. The cloak deposited her back in the chair before returning to its master’s shoulders.

Another mug of tea appeared in Stephen's hand and he offered it to her. She hissed, snatched it and threw it in the same direction as the first, this time letting it shatter against the far wall. 

She turned to find another steaming mug already being held out to her, this time in a metal cup. 

"I can do this all day."

Lorelei glared defiantly.

"Fine." The mug disappeared. "You said you needed to talk to me about something. Is it related to that tantrum you just threw or was that an objection to something I said?"

"I killed our daughter." She said the words numbly, as if accepting defeat.

"You..." Stephen looked to her still rounded figure. "You mean you lost the baby?" Poor choice of words to equate miscarriage with homicide, but perhaps, if it happened during battle, she blamed herself. But that would mean she was still carrying a dead fetus...

"The child is still alive inside me," Lorelei murmured. "But I killed her."

Stephen frowned. "You're not making any sense. What..."

"She is Hela. The Goddess of Death. Banner found a DNA test that proves it, but I knew it from the moment I saw her on that cliff in Norway. I could feel it. She wasn’t Odin's daughter. She was mine." Lorelei ran her palm along the top of her rounded abdomen, remembering how the baby had squirmed at the sound of Hela's voice. As if she recognized it somehow, or simply sensed the wrongness of the intersecting of two timelines.

Stephen sank back into his chair. "You're sure about this? The DNA test..."

"Hela was part 20th century human and part Jotun." Lorelei attempted a weak smile. "I don't know of any others that could match that description, do you?"

She was grieving, Stephen realized. A confused, helpless grief over the loss of a child not yet born. 

"I know I said she wasn't your concern, but...I don't know what to do. Banner offered to terminate the pregnancy. My brother fears the effect that would have on Asgard – and other realms we stopped her from laying waste to. He thinks I should let things happen as they must. Let her fulfill her destiny."

"And what do you want?"

Lorelei blinked as she realized Stephen was the first to ask her that before offering his own suggestions. "I don't know. I wanted to secure my right to the throne by producing an heir worthy to inherit. Now that I know she is a monster destined to claim the throne as Odin's first born and destroy all of Asgard..."

"You're looking for permission."

Lorelei snorted. "No. I could put a stop to this anytime just by reverting to my male form."

"But you haven't. Because you're afraid your brother is right."

Lorelei went quiet. 

Stephen took that as confirmation. "There's a thought exercise humans sometimes employ. If you could go back in time to kill Hitler - or even stop him from being born, would you? It seems like an obvious choice in hindsight. In theory you'd be saving millions of lives just by sacrificing one. But when you take into account all the possible repercussions and other variables it becomes difficult. It's possible the war was inevitable, in which case somebody else would be responsible for those deaths - and maybe millions more. It's possible for the alternative timeline you create to be even WORSE than the one you were trying to prevent. Science fiction writers call it the butterfly effect - changing history through a series of cascading variables. The thing is, it could be argued that you knowing what will happen already has the power to alter the course of events regardless of what you do."

Another tin cup of tea appeared in his hand and he held it out to her. "You really should drink this. It will help you relax."

She took the cup slowly and sipped at it tentatively. 

"How far along are you?"

"About ten months, I should think. Give or take a week." She waved a hand dismissively as the doctor looked wary. "Our gestations can be considerably longer than yours. Sometimes shorter, but that is obviously not the case here. I could be pregnant for years yet." She sighed. "I had hoped to spend those years on Asgard." Something dark twisted her features for a moment and she took another sip of tea. 

Stephen unfurled from his chair and knelt in front of hers, gesturing toward her abdomen. "May I?"

Her lips twitched. She sat back, letting him ruck up her shirt and feel along the swell, watching his scarred fingers move.

"You might be closer than you think," he murmured. "It doesn't feel like she has much room to move around. Of course, I'm a surgeon so this isn't really my field." He sighed and shook his head. "I don't have any answers. I don't think there are any right answers here." He looked into her eyes and she was reminded of the power he seemed to hold just in his gaze. "Whatever you do is your choice. I will help you in any way I can."

"Why?"

Stephen blinked. "Sorry?"

"You know who I really am. What I've done to your world. I tricked you into siring a child that will one day destroy my world. Why would you help me?"

"You came to me for help, Loki."

The use of her real name jolted her. She set the half-drunk cup of tea down and stood abruptly, forcing him to move back. The second she was upright, however, the world seemed to sway and she teetered and would have fallen had Stephen not been fast enough to catch her.

She blinked in confusion for a moment, then glared at him. "You put something in the tea."

"Just something to help you get some rest. It won't hurt the baby."

She tried to wrench herself from his grip, but she was too unsteady to stay upright without his support. "I don't need to REST," she snapped. Her dizziness increased as the sitting room disappeared and was replaced by a bedroom. "Unhand me this second, you..." 

Stephen let go abruptly and she stumbled and fell back on the bed. She struggled against him as he pushed her to lay down and drew a blanket over her, but her body felt heavy.

"Yes, I know who you are. I did some research since we last met and I believe I have a better understanding of the sort of person you are, Loki Laufreyson." He sat on the bed beside her as she stopped struggling. "Your allegiances may have put you in the position of playing the villain in the past, but not because you are evil. You are selfish and you crave power and adoration at any cost. You attacked Earth partly out of a foolish belief that we would submit to your rule. You destroyed Asgard to save your people from someone more ruthless. And now you've come to me because you are in over your head and desperate. I want to help you because I believe I can. And because I believe no one is beyond redemption."

She shook her head, but was too tired to argue with him. 

"We can talk more after you've rested. We have time." 

She was asleep before he even left the room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As the release is only a couple weeks away, this will be my last chapter posted before Infinity War. I already know where the story is going and how IW will be incorporated (based on the Infinity Gauntlet storyline in the comics and previews of the movie), but it's entirely possible the movie will alter things a bit. 
> 
> This chapter features a lot of discussion about sex and vague descriptions of previous acts. I'm trying to keep it at a "mature" rating.

The two sorcerers formed an odd sort of alliance in the days and weeks following their reunion. Lorelei/Loki was almost able to forget at times that she was carrying a child she was destined to destroy. Had destroyed. Unless she was willing to possibly risk everyone and everything in an effort to change that destiny.

When she had to face it, she and Stephen spent hours debating the ramifications of certain courses of action. All of them presented the same problem: even if they succeeded in changing Hela's future (which they clearly hadn't yet), they would be meddling with the past. They could drastically alter events or, if things were destined to happen as they did, they could risk inflicting even more damage. Stephen called it the "better the devil you know" argument. It might be kinder to let the child become the woman who would bring about Ragnarok than try to alter her course and risk her knowing her own destiny, or forcing another to take her place and cause even more destruction than she did.

When Lorelei needed a distraction from thinking about whether she had always been destined to unleash the destroyer of Asgard on the realm, she turned her thoughts to Stephen. She had designed her female form to be irresistible to him. The pregnancy may have distorted some of her feminine curves, but it hadn't dampened her beauty. Men and women had salivated over her on four worlds. She was sure the only thing that had kept the Grandmaster from inviting her into his bed was his respect for her condition. Or, perhaps, fear of the man responsible for it. She knew she could have pointed out that the father had no claim over her and the child and seduced him anyway, but she had found it far more effective to tease him with the fantasy. He was probably still imagining her when he found gratification with some floozy on Sakaar.

But Stephen...She had thoroughly enjoyed seducing him. She had chosen him because he was what Thor called an "enhanced". He was a powerful sorcerer. She believed (correctly, it would seem) that a child forged by their union would be a force to be reckoned with. The fact that Stephen was also attractive was just a bonus that made fucking him less objectionable. But it had proven one of the most enjoyable experiences of her life. Her pleasure hadn't been a requirement of achieving her goal, but he had been so eager to please her. His gratification seemed to stem directly from his ability to render her thoroughly mindless with passion.

Yet since she had returned, he seemed immune to her charm. They slept in the same bed, but almost never at the same time. Twice, she had woken to find him asleep beside her, fully dressed. The first time he had been turned away from her, a wide gulf between them. The second time had been exactly the same as the first, only the space between them hadn’t been quite so wide. She counted it as progress because when he was awake he was even more distant. Their only moments of intimacy came when they were discussing Hela or when she would join him as he practiced new spells. 

It was during one of those latter times that she decided to test him, if only to prove that she could still seduce him if she wanted to.

She showed him how she changed clothing without the hand gestures he seemed to rely on. Then, at the end of the demonstration she made the traditional Asgardian dress she had changed into disappear, leaving her stark naked. She stretched her back, arching so her full breasts jutted out – impossible for him to miss – and sighed.

"I always forget how uncomfortable those things are."

She looked to Stephen and all her hopes of victory shattered. He looked *angry*.

"Oh, come on. It's not like you haven't seen me like this before."

Stephen waved a hand and a large, shapeless dress that could have served as a shelter covered her body.

"What," she snapped. "Is my body repulsive to you now? Swollen and stretched with your child? Is that why you can't bear to even look at me? The perfect body you mapped with your tongue is ruined? Or is it because you found out I was once a male? You humans love your idiotic labels. Does it sicken you to know that the woman you so enthusiastically fucked was once in possession of a pe-"

Her mouth kept moving, but her voice was suddenly silenced. It took a few moments for her to realize he had rendered her mute. 

He waited until she stopped trying to speak – until she was actually listening – to begin. "Are you really so arrogant that you can't think of any other reason I wouldn't want to have sex with you? You lied to me. You manipulated me. And when I found out what you had done you bragged that I would never have known who you really were if your brother hadn't forced you to come back to my world. You used me, Loki. And now you want to prove that you can still play me for a fool."

She tried to speak, but her voice was still silenced.

"I'm not finished," he continued. "How DARE you suggest that the reason I am not overcome with lust around you is that I no longer find you attractive? That otherwise I would be so lacking in self control that I would have no choice but to fuck you if you waved your tits in my face? No, I must be a shallow asshole who won't touch a pregnant woman because she's 'fat'. And as for your other suggestion: my 'stupid human label' happens to be bisexual so you can take your assumptions and shove them up your ass."

There was a pause as he checked to make sure she had actually heard the words he said. Then he waved a hand to restore her voice.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Are you really? Or are you just sorry you have to deal with the consequences of your actions now?"

Stephen spun on his heel and stormed from the room, leaving her in stunned silence.

They avoided each other for the rest of the day, only speaking the next morning when Stephen asked after her welfare in the coolly professional manner of a doctor checking on his patient. She didn’t press the issue and she didn't want to talk about what had happened. Whenever Stephen got the urge to apologize for his final comment – as it had clearly struck a nerve – he reminded himself of Loki's ruthless attack on New York.

The next time they shared the bed, he awoke to find himself on his back with her head resting on his shoulder, the swell of her abdomen brushing his side as she breathed. He held perfectly still.

"I know you're awake," she said softly.

"What do you want, Loki," he asked, though he remained absolutely still.

She reached for his nearest hand, her fingers ghosting over the angry scars along the back of it. "I thought about you often. All those long nights spent waiting to feel our child growing within me. I thought about how gentle these hands were. How rough your beard was on the insides of my thighs..." She tilted her head so she could meet his gaze and her voice lowered to a whisper. "How you looked at me as if I were the most important creature in the universe."

Silence stretched between them until her breath was broken by a startled gasp and her hand went to her abdomen.

"What's wrong," Stephen asked in alarm.

Lorelei shook her head and buried her face in his shoulder. He reached for her, feeling along the bulge tentatively until he felt a tiny jab coming from inside. The baby was kicking. The baby who would turn into the woman Lorelei had already killed.

Stephen's resolution to not let Lorelei get to him cracked as he heard the tiny noises of distress she tried to muffle. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tighter against him. What she had done to him had been selfish and wrong, but she was already being punished for it. She had lost her entire world and almost all of her family. And now she faced an impossible situation.

"Nothing has changed," she murmured. "I keep making plans...I will raise her myself in the present. I will give her to anyone but the allfather. I look in on Thor and our people every day and I keep hoping that one day they will gone - back to Asgard. But it never changes. I can't stop Ragnarok."

"Plans aren't the same as actions," Stephen offered, stroking her hair. "Plans can be altered. Thwarted. It's possible you just haven't changed anything *yet*."

"Possible," she mumbled wearily. "Possible." She caught his hand and nuzzled into his palm. "I almost worked up the courage to change into my male form yesterday. But then I felt her move and I thought about that day on the cliff. How Hela reminded me so much of me. And I thought about what you said - how nobody is beyond redemption - and I just...couldn't."

They both knew that might not have made any more difference than her planning. Altering timelines was messy business. If they couldn't change Ragnarok, it didn't much matter whether they tried to alter Hela's destiny or stop her existing entirely. 

"I'm sorry."

He twisted his head around to try to see her face. "What are you sorry for?"

"I'm...sorry I seduced you."

He snorted. "That's not really the part I had a problem with."

She looked into his eyes. Eyes that had fascinated her since she first saw him. With alternating colors that made them look like tiny galaxies. "I'm sorry I tricked you," she said slowly.

"No, you're not." There was no judgment or anger in his tone. He was simply stating a fact. 

She started to pull away from him, but Stephen locked his arms around her, preventing her from leaving. "You have a reputation for doing whatever you believe is necessary to get what you want with little to no regard for those who get in your way. You use people. You are what most of us on Earth would call a sociopath. And yet you care what I think about you. You fear my rejection. At first I thought it was just respect for a fellow magician or maybe you were hoping to form an alliance. But just now when you were remembering our first encounter your pupils dilated, your breathing grew shallow and at one point you stared at my lips while licking your own. You're falling in love with me."

She snorted. "Love? I admit I enjoyed our rather spectacular fuck and I have entertained fantasies about repeating the experience, but I can assure you my feelings for you are purely carnal."

"I know that's what you want me to believe. I know you have probably even convinced yourself that the words you said - the part about me treating you like the most important creature in the universe - were just manipulation. But here's the thing: if it were just lust you would have given up by now. When I rejected you, you should have been angry, not hurt and desperate for my forgiveness. You tell yourself the connection we made - are still making - was purely physical because you can't admit to yourself that you might be falling in love with a member of a species you consider inferior because our ancestors worshiped you as a god."

He felt her body go taut, as if she would bolt if he relaxed his hold. He could see her brain working frantically, torn between denial and desire.

How many times had she disparaged Thor's sentiments for the mortal woman? All Asgardians knew it was folly to become too involved with humans. Probably because too many of them had made the same mistake. But now that the last of the Asgardians were probably destined to spend the rest of their lives on Earth, did it really matter? If she couldn't change the things that had already happened, then the future of her people was intertwined with the future of his.

"I've thought about that night a lot too," he admitted. "I've thought about how you kissed my scars as if they didn't repulse you. How you made allowances for my limitations without ever acknowledging that they *are* limitations. How uninhibited and insatiable you were. You made me feel whole again. Undamaged. Not the same man as I was before the accident, but something better. More worthy. I had given up hope of ever seeing you again after that night. And then when you did return and I realized who you were I was angry, but...now...I feel like we might have more in common than I thought."

"You're falling in love with me," she said flatly. It wasn't really a question. Humans fell prey to sentiment easily. 

He shrugged. "I'm sure most of the people I've slept with would tell you I am incapable of loving anyone more than myself. But I don't think whatever is between us is just about sex."

She remembered the look on his face as she had ridden him. The wonder in his eyes. How his trembling hands had rested on her hips, not to guide her but to ground himself. To connect. It was one of the memories she had gone over in her head on nights when the pregnancy hormones left her aroused and frustrated. He had been entirely at her mercy then. He had been that way the entire night, really. Even when he had tied her to the bed so she would stop pulling his hair while his head was between her thighs. She could have broken the bonds easily, but allowing him to think he was in control for a while had been far more gratifying.

No, she thought. It wasn't just about sex. It was about power. And perhaps a recognition of how powerful an alliance they could make. Maybe she was wrong when she assumed a bond between them could only be powerful if it took the form of a child.

She fingered the hem of his shirt. "You realize I prefer my other, male form and will likely return to it once the child is born."

"I don't care. Changing the wrapping on the package doesn't change what's inside it. You're still Loki. Always have been." He sighed. "Maybe I was wrong about being bisexual. I mean, it seems like a pretty limited Earth label considering I'm falling in love with a shapeshifting alien."

A startled laugh burst out of her. 

He chuckled along with her for a moment, then he reached a finger under her jaw and tilted her face up. "It's nice to see you smile."

Her continuing giggles died off. She searched his eyes for a moment and, seeing nothing but wonder and desire, she leaned in to kiss him.

It was awkward and tentative. And it was the most honest kiss she had ever been involved in.

He kissed her forehead and pulled her into a tight embrace. "I meant what I said," he murmured. "I will get you through this. Whatever you need. I mean...I probably can't hold your hand when you're in labor, but I can hold you and you can scream in my ear."

"Mmm." She let herself relax in his arms, allowed herself to pretend - even if only for a moment - that everything would be fine.

And that's when she realized.

"I'm sorry I tried to keep this from you," she said. "I'm sorry I didn't trust you."

He didn't say anything. He just continued to pet her hair and hold her tightly, brushing his lips to her forehead occasionally. She took it as confirmation - as she drifted off to sleep - that she'd finally said exactly what he'd wanted to hear all along.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I saw Infinity War and the plans I said I had in the last chapter for how this story would go totally crumbled to dust like Thanos' victims. I debated whether I could even address literally anything in that movie - or, you know, finish this story - for a couple days and then I came up with an entirely new direction. Hence the new and adjusted tags.
> 
> I have also decided that this story will remain at its current rating with all sex merely alluded to. I am considering doing some one-shots or a string of "deleted scenes" where I can contain the more explicit stuff.

Pregnancy made using certain powers difficult to impossible for Lorelei. Her body was slower and limited to its present form. Replicating and astral projection were too difficult in her state. She could still levitate and she was sometimes tempted to demonstrate her superior physical strength to Stephen just to see the expression on his face, but these were never talents she particularly enjoyed using. She had always happily left tasks requiring brute force to Thor, preferring the far more refined mental abilities her mother taught her. Stephen didn't need visual demonstrations to learn, however, as she discovered she could help him hone his replicating skills without having to perform the trick herself. She had felt a rush of pride mixed with fear when he first successfully replicated himself. Pride for obvious reasons. Fear because she realized he was right. She was falling in love with him. 

She suspected Stephen was capable of learning most of her abilities and she thought she may well enjoy teaching him if she had the opportunity.

If.

She stood in front of the attic window of the sanctum, dressed only in a robe, looking out at the city and waiting to feel the next contraction. She couldn't see into the future, but she was beginning to suspect she knew why none of her plans were affecting changes. She would not survive the birth. 

It was fitting, really. Hela would kill her as she had killed Hela. It made sense. Her daughter would never know her destiny, even though it was already written. She would never know who her birth mother was. Lorelei still didn't know how she had travelled so far back into Asgard history to become Odin's eldest adopted child, but that would be Stephen's concern. Obviously he would find a way.

She felt Stephen's presence in the room before he made it known, but she didn't let on. She hummed as he swept her hair aside and wrapped his arms around her, kissing the bare curve of her neck and nuzzling behind her ear. 

"Did I hurt you?"

She snorted. "With what? Your tongue?"

"Mmm. Thank you for not yanking my hair this time."

"I couldn't reach your hair if I'd tried."

He smiled and ran his hands along the curve of her abdomen. "You've gotta be getting close now."

She sighed. "Closer than you think."

"What?"

She twisted in his arms, a smile twitching her lips as she noted the way his eyes darted briefly to her exposed breasts. Human males were so easily distracted. She draped her arms over his shoulders. "I think I might be having contractions."

He went still and she saw a moment of panic flit across his face before his medical training took over. "You think? How far apart are they?" His hands were on her abdomen again, prodding gently.

"Very. I wasn't sure they even were contractions and not just lingering...spasms. I've given birth before, but not in this form so I don't really have a frame of reference."

Stephen blinked, opened and closed his mouth, shook his head. "Okay, well...let me know when you feel another one so I can time it. For now you should rest. Get some sleep if you can."

He waved a hand and they were transported back to the bed she had left not long before. She could teach him to do that much more efficiently, she thought as she wobbled, slightly dizzy. 

He supported her as she sat on the mattress. 

She reached for the drawstring of his sweatpants. "We have time..."

Stephen brushed her hand away. "No."

Humans were such prudes.

She let him tuck her beneath the covers. He climbed in after her in an approximation of the position they had just been in vertically. 

"So...what form were you in the last time you gave birth?"

She smiled. "I was a mare. I had no way of telling how long I was in labor, but it couldn't have been longer than five or six hours. Humans and Asgardians take considerably longer."

"For a first pregnancy, yes, but if you've given birth before..."

"Not in this body."

Stephen was quiet for a while. "So is there a horse running around somewhere..."

"No. He died long ago."

Stephen winced. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. He died of old age. Even on Asgard, a horse rarely lives more than about a hundred years."

"Forgive me if this question is as rude on your world as it is on mine," Stephen said after another long silence. "But...how old are you?"

"Mmm...just over 1,500."

Several thoughts hit Stephen at once. 'What is that in human years?' 'This is why ancient humans thought they were gods.' 'Even if I used dark energy to lengthen my life, I wouldn't see him reach his 2,000th birthday.'

The one he settled on, however, was "how old were you when you first got pregnant?"

Lorelei covered his trembling hand on her abdomen. "In human terms? A teenager. I didn't mean for it to happen. I was just trying to seduce the horse. I thought I could outrun him." She saw the growing horror on Stephen's face and realized she had said too much. She hadn't talked about Slepenir and the manner in which he was conceived in recent years and never with a human. She reached for the extra pillow they kept on hand and Stephen automatically helped her arrange it between her knees. She would rather prop her leg on his hip, but she knew that would be just as uncomfortable as nothing after a few minutes. "I had a choice then as I did now. I don't regret it. He was magnificent. The finest stead Odin ever had."

"Wait...he was Odin's horse?"

"Well...he made an excellent war horse and I wasn't a warrior."

"Odin rode his own grandson into battle?!"

"Calm down, Stephen."

"I am calm! I..." Stephen realized he was practically shouting and took a deep breath.

"I was his mother, but he was still a horse. He was well cared for." Her breath caught as a cramp gripped her. "Yes, this is definitely labor," she breathed.

A watch appeared in Stephen's hand and he made a mental note of the time. "Gotta be very early stages. At least twenty minutes apart." He gently brushed her hair back and curled his fingers around the back of her neck, brushing her cheek with his thumb. "You're sure this won't last longer than human labor?"

She had already assured Stephen that her prolonged pregnancy would not end with an equally prolonged labor. Even though she had absolutely no idea what constituted "normal" in this exact circumstance, she knew that labor lasting longer than forty-eight hours was rare for both humans and Asgardians. Frigga had always claimed her thirty-six hours giving birth to Thor was due to him being stubborn from the very beginning.

She twisted her head around to kiss his palm. "I'm sure."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be longer than the others because I figured it would be cruel to stop in the middle of childbirth. The location and the players involved in this part of the story have all changed many times since I first began writing. Ultimately, I decided on Thor (because he can hold Lorelei's hand) and Christine (because Stephen always goes to her when he needs medical assistance). I love featuring characters that TPTB present as love interests as friends instead, so in the world this fic exists in Christine and Stephen were briefly lovers in the past (as alluded to in the movie), but are currently just really good friends.
> 
> Somewhat graphic birth ahead with a lot of pain, angst and blood.

Christine Palmer wished she could remember a time when life had been normal. When he friend, former coworker and occasional fling couldn't just show up in the hospital as if he had appeared out of thin air and fly around the room as an "astral projection". When they didn't have to worry about attacks from alien beings and humans with abnormal abilities.

When Stephen had appeared weeks ago and pulled her into a private room to "discuss a situation", she hadn't known what to expect. His story about a woman he had impregnated four months earlier but who could possibly give birth any day now to their ten month old fetus had left her in stunned silence. And that was before he told her the woman was the same shape-shifting alien that had attacked New York years earlier.

"He was working on behalf of a bigger enemy then. Probably not entirely willingly."

Christine had blinked stupidly. "He?"

"He's a she now, obviously. Shapeshifter."

"Not that I don't believe you, but...are you sure the baby is yours? How is that even possible? His...her DNA is completely alien - how is it compatible with yours?"

"I don't know," Stephen had admitted. "But it happened. And I need your help."

She had agreed, even though she never met the patient. And weeks later a very frazzled looking Stephen had appeared in her apartment.

It was early in the morning - she hadn't even left for the hospital yet - and Stephen said Loki had been in labor for more than twenty-four hours and was only just entering active labor.

"I know it's normal, but she can't rest and she won't let me do anything for the pain," he babbled.

Christine hadn't attended many childbirths since completing her residency, but in almost all cases she had witnessed this sort of panic in the father. This desperation of a man watching a loved one suffer and being helpless to ease their pain. She caught his trembling hands and ordered him to breathe, giving him a minute to calm before prompting him for medical details and retrieving the supply bag she had kept on hand since he told her about the situation.

She barely had time to take in the mansion she followed him through a portal into before her attention was drawn to the woman on her hands and knees at the top of a staircase, naked except for a robe hastily pulled around her.

Stephen was at her side immediately, bending to help her up. She yanked him down on the floor with her instead, one hand twisted in the fabric of his shirt, and a deep moan vibrated through her.

Christine stood back and marveled as Stephen pulled the woman he claimed had once attacked their planet into his arms and murmured "it's okay, honey. I've got you. Breathe."

When the contraction ended, Christine noted the time and offered to help Stephen get their patient somewhere more comfortable. 

"You must be Doctor Palmer," the woman said wearily.

"Er...yes." Christine held out her hand to shake.

"Help me up," the woman said in the manner of someone accustomed to people obeying her orders.

"Okay," Christine said meekly, mostly because Stephen was already following the command. 

They each took a side, supporting her as she insisted on walking. "Should I call you Loki, or..." Christine's voice trailed off uncertainly.

"You can call me whatever you like," Lorelei panted. "Seeing as you'll be wrist deep in my cunt, I think we can dispense with formalities."

Christine shot Stephen a look, but he was averting his eyes uncomfortably. "Okay, well...speaking of that...have you checked her dilation, Stephen?"

"About five centimeters," he muttered.

'Still a ways to go,' Christine thought. "Stephen tells me you won't take anything for the pain."

"I said she wouldn't let me DO anything," Stephen corrected. "I found something far more effective than an epidural."

"It works faster, too," Lorelei muttered. "Not. Yet."

"Well, it's your decision, but there's no sense in suffering if you don't have to," Christine said with the sort of gentle authority well practiced on difficult patients.

"I am not suffering. I've handled far worse pain. I won't prolong this just to get temporary relief."

"Will you at least consider the bath again," Stephen asked.

"Mmm...only if you join me again," Lorelei purred.

"Knock it off, Loki,"

"Tell me, Doctor Palmer, are all humans as ashamed of their own sexual desires as this one?"

"Umm..."

A contraction seized Lorelei before Christine could formulate an answer. She grunted and staggered a step before pulling away from Christine to wrap both of her arms around Stephen, burying her face in his shoulder to muffle her pained whimpers.

"Breathe, honey," Stephen murmured in her ear, his annoyance with her behavior instantly evaporating. He swayed with her instinctively as she rode out the wave.

Christine checked her watch and waited.

Minutes later, when the laboring woman sagged in Stephen's arms, she helped him get her the remaining steps to the bed so she could perform her examination.

"Are the contractions getting stronger," she asked, taking Lorelei's pulse.

Lorelei nodded.

Christine pulled a latex glove from her bag and put it on her right hand, then coated her gloved fingers with KY. "I'm sorry, this will probably be uncomfortable," she said as she worked. "I'll try to be gentle."

"Oh, please, don't be."

Christine hesitated and shot her an incredulous look.

"Stop it," Stephen muttered tiredly.

Lorelei sighed and leaned back on her hands, spreading her legs, the open robe falling unceremoniously to her sides.

Christine's eyes were drawn momentarily to the full, bare breasts above the swollen abdomen. She averted them quickly, embarrassed by the sudden, intrusive and entirely inappropriate thoughts she was having. She steeled herself and - quickly and carefully - pushed her lubricated fingers into Lorelei's birth canal, feeling the opening of her cervix.

Lorelei winced and almost instinctively closed her legs. She was pretty sure Stephen had been far more gentle when he'd examined her earlier.

"Still just a little over five centimeters," Christine declared, removing her hand and pulling the glove off. "You should let us give you the epidural. Or...whatever it is Stephen is offering, which I'm assuming is safe." She added the last part as a warning. She didn't think he would try any crazy, experimental drugs on OTHER people, but there was no telling what a person might be willing to do for someone they cared about as he obviously did for this woman. "This baby is going to come when it is ready to come and refusing pain relief isn't going to make that happen any faster. If you can take something now, maybe both of you can rest before you need to start pushing."

Lorelei brought her legs back together and gathered her robe around her naked body slowly. She glanced at Stephen as she debated with herself. She had wanted this to be over as quickly as possible - both for her sake and for Stephen's. But it was becoming obvious that nothing about the birth would be easy and she didn't really relish the idea of spending all of who knew how many remaining hours screaming in agony. She nodded at Stephen and he sagged with relief.

Christine turned to Stephen expectantly, but all questions of what he needed her to do to administer the pain relief died on her lips as he pressed a hand to Lorelei's back and she groaned softly, her body immediately relaxing.

"That's...that's it," Christine spluttered. "What did you do?"

"Too difficult to explain," Stephen muttered. "But you were right - it's perfectly safe. And it will last as long as we need it to."

Christine was silent for a while, standing back as Stephen helped Lorelei arrange herself comfortably on her side, bunching pillows around her and between her legs. 

She had another contraction once she was settled and Stephen stroked her hair as she grunted softly. It was an odd feeling - pressure and discomfort, but numbness where there had been sharp pain before. She wondered if she had been wrong to refuse the treatment sooner. 

She fell into a fitful sleep before the next contraction.

*****************

Christine kept watch over Lorelei while she slept. Well...she and the creepy cloak that moved by itself and, she was pretty sure, Stephen's astral form. He had disappeared somewhere to sleep, but she was pretty sure she had felt his presence while she was setting up the electronic fetal monitor he'd "borrowed" from the hospital.

Lorelei managed to sleep through several contractions, occasionally emitting a soft whimper. Whatever Stephen did was working wonders.

She had barely entered transition when Christine felt a gust of air and both the cloak and the presence disappeared. She called Stephen's name tentatively and briefly considered leaving Lorelei to look for him. But then Lorelei whined, her eyes fluttering. She was waking up.

"It's all right," Christine whispered, rubbing her shoulder. "You're doing just fine."

It took two more contractions before awareness fully returned to Lorelei. 

"Stephen," she moaned.

"Do you want me to get him?"

"I'm here."

Christine jumped as Stephen breezed into the room suddenly, a very tall, very muscled man with a patch over his right eye trailing behind him. She made room for Stephen to kneel beside the bed. He bent so his face was level with Lorelei's.

"Can you hear me, honey," he asked, stroking her hair.

She moaned. 

"It's okay." He kissed her cheek. "Everything's fine. You're doing great."

"...ihzit time," she mumbled sleepily.

"Not yet. Is the spell still working?"

She hummed noncommittally. 

As Stephen seemed to have forgotten them in his concern for the laboring woman, Christine decided it was up to her to introduce herself to the newcomer. 

She held out her hand. "Doctor Christine Palmer."

He was slow to respond, focused on the woman on the bed. "Thor," he said, shaking her hand.

"Thor," Christine repeated slowly. "As in..."

"Loki's brother," Stephen interjected. He spared her a glance and shrugged. "Figured we could use an extra set of hands."

'Yeah, sure,' Christine thought. 'It's not like this can get any weirder than it already is.' 

"You're...the one with the hammer, right?"

************

For an hour and a half, Christine and Thor played catch up between periods of helping Lorelei shift positions and checking her progress. She was barely aware of them and she mistook Thor for Odin once in her delirium. She mostly drifted in and out half draped over Stephen, who had taken to singing quietly in her ear to soothe her. Pink Floyd, Bread, Poison, Earth Wind & Fire. It seemed to be working, but midway through a rendition of "Wildfire" she ordered him to stop on pain of death. 

She was still numbed from the spell, so Stephen felt the change almost before she did. The powerful, unending contractions suddenly eased and the far-away look in Lorelei's eyes shifted. He called to Christine calmly, not taking his focus from Lorelei, petting the long black hair that was becoming limp and matted.

"What's wrong," Lorelei asked, her voice strained.

"Nothing's wrong," Christine assured from between her legs. She pulled her hand free and smiled. "You're fully dilated. You can start pushing on the next contraction."

***************

Twenty minutes and two attempts at pushing later, Lorelei ordered Stephen to break the spell that had kept the pain at bay for the latter stages of labor. Stephen did so reluctantly, though he knew his hesitance was partly his own selfish desire to not watch her suffer. He produced a steady supply of damp cloths to wash the sweat from her face and neck in a helpless bid to comfort her as she strained and writhed and cried in Thor's supportive hold.

For a while they worked as a team. Christine coaching her through each push. Stephen reminding her to breathe and offering reassurance. Thor holding her steady and squeezing her hands, unflinching as her nails dug into his skin.

Lorelei was too focused on the pain and overwhelming need to push to be horrified by her helpless state. She didn't remember feeling so overwhelmed when she gave birth to Slepenir, but that had been more than a century ago. And she had been a mare.

"I see her head," Christine announced just before Lorelei's water broke and the cushion around her daughter's body disappeared. She wailed as the burning pain spiked, barely aware of the arms around her, the hands rubbing her trembling thighs. She didn't know whose they were and she didn't care.

"Out...get her out," she heard herself sob. For a horrible second she feared she was projecting herself out of her body and clawed frantically at Thor to ground herself.

"It's all right," she heard Stephen say in that calm but urgent tone he had been using for hours. His hands stroked her face. "You're doing great, honey." His voice was warbling. She could feel the anxiety he was trying to control, the empathetic pain and distress he tried to hide. 

A long, blood curdling cry ripped from her as the burning increased until she was sure she would pass out from the pain. And then suddenly it stopped.

"The head's out," she heard Christine say from a distance. "One more big push, okay?"

Lorelei gathered every ounce of strength she had, clamped down on Thor's hands and curled around her abdomen, focusing everything she had on pushing. She barely heard the encouragements they continued to offer and barely felt the hands helping guide her daughter into the world. She was only distantly aware that she was screaming.

And then suddenly it was over. The horrible, burning pressure eased and she fell into her brother's arms, limp.

"Strange," Thor called, alarmed.

Stephen tore his attention from the newborn, who was taking her first breaths and crying wetly, to look to Lorelei, who had become alarmingly pale.

"Go," Christine prompted. "I've got this." She wrapped the baby in towels and retreated from the bed.

Stephen helped Thor lay Lorelei back, piling pillows beneath her. He took her pulse and gently pried her eyelids open to check her pupils. "Talk to me, Loki."

"Ihzzshe...mhm..." Lorelei slurred.

Stephen gathered her hand in his, fighting back tears. "She's fine. Perfect. You did it, honey."

Lorelei hummed weakly. "Love..." Her hand went limp, her head lolling on the pillow.

Thor made an alarmed noise and gathered the already soiled sheets, pressing them between Lorelei's legs. "She's bleeding!"

Post partum hemorrhage. Stephen froze for a moment, not quite comprehending how he could be losing her like this. Berating himself for thinking he could do this so far from a hospital. She was bleeding out. There wasn't enough time to get her into surgery.

Time.

He projected his astral form from his body almost before the thought had finished forming in his mind and raced to the Sanctum library, searching through texts for the spell he needed. He knew he had time to find it. His body had barely begun crumpling to the bed. But he moved quickly, frantically. And by the time he returned to his body, it had barely moved an inch.

"Stand back," he ordered. 

Thor stumbled back obediently after only a moment's hesitation and watched in amazement as the wizard bowed over the dying woman on the bed, pressing his hands gently to the sides of her head. The air around them seemed to warble and, like an image coming into focus, the feminine curves of the body on the bed flattened, realigned and shifted into a shape Thor recognized as his brother.

Except he was blue.

"Oh my god," Christine gasped, clutching the cleaned and swaddled newborn to her chest and watching, wide-eyed from the corner as Stephen nearly collapsed on top of the blue skinned man lying where Lorelei used to be.

Thor reached to steady the sorcerer.

Stephen blinked at Loki in surprise. He had seen pictures of the trickster god responsible for the Chitauri attack, but this creature with ridge patterns in his blue skin didn't quite match that image.

Loki's eyes opened and an instinctive spike of fear ran through Stephen. They were blood red.

He calmed as he realized the eyes were unfocused, terrified and, despite their alarming color, entirely familiar. He cupped Loki's face between his hands gently, wincing at the unnatural coldness of his skin. "It's all right," he murmured, though the creature was obviously barely aware of his surroundings. "You're safe. Rest, Loki."

Loki made a garbled noise, as if he had forgotten how to speak, and the blue tint faded, his skin warming beneath Stephen's hands, his eyes turning back to their former greenish blue before he lost consciousness.

"I've never seen him in his Frost Giant form before," Thor murmured.

'Jotun,' Stephen thought. He had seen a picture of one once in an obscure text. They were, essentially, an artifact of Asgardian history. Loki was the last one. He verified that Loki was stable and conjured some boxers to preserve his modesty. Assuming he had any.

Assured that there was nothing more he could do for Loki for the time being, Stephen turned his attention to his daughter, fussing quietly in Christine's arms. "Is she all right?"

Christine, still staring at the man on the bed and trying to process that he had given birth to the perfectly healthy, seemingly human child in her arms, startled. "Uh...yeah. Yeah, she's...she's fine."

She gently transferred the infant into Stephen's outstretched arms and smiled as tears sprang to his eyes. 

The smile froze in confusion as he asked "can you get bloodwork for a DNA test?"

"For her? Why? Do you think something is wrong?"

"I don’t know," Stephen admitted quietly. "Just...take a sample and give it to Thor."

Christine glanced at the Asgardian king hovering beside his brother's insensate form, whispering softly to him. This was why Stephen had brought him. She wanted to ask, but she doubted Stephen would give her any answers.

"Okay..." She rubbed Stephen's arm comfortingly. "Do you have a name for her?"

Stephen didn't look up as he answered "Hela."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course Stephen would never have let Lorelei/Loki die. But how will Loki feel about that once he wakes up?


	8. Chapter 8

In the moment between consciousness and full awareness, Loki wondered if it had all been a dream. He reached instinctively for the swell and found only a flat abdomen. He opened his eyes and took quick stock. He was still in the New York Sanctum, but he was back in his male body. And he was alone.

He frantically tried to recall the events immediately preceding his loss of consciousness. He remembered feeling the strength leave his body, the warm rush of blood, Thor yelling in alarm and then Stephen's voice soothing him. He had been dying. 

He dragged himself upright. Someone had dressed him and changed the bedding, but he could still feel the dried blood between his thighs.

He staggered from the bed and conjured his old, familiar leathers around him before he went searching for Stephen.

He found the sorcerer sleeping in a chair beside a crib. Or rather, waking up in a chair beside a crib. Loki wondered if Stephen's astral form had been standing guard over the infant.

"Loki." Stephen moved toward him, reaching out.

Loki took a step back. "Don't touch me."

Stephen hesitated and let his hands fall back to his sides, but he didn't back away. "How do you feel?"

"Alive," Loki sneered. 

An awkward silence stretched between them until Loki spoke again. 

"Is it her?"

"Thor took a sample for Doctor Banner to test. We'll know for sure soon, but..." Stephen let his words trail away. He didn't need to say the rest. They all knew the baby could only be Hela. "Would you like to hold her?"

Loki grimaced. "No."

He turned and retreated from the room before Stephen could say anything else.

***************

Construction of the mirror dimension was one of the few spells Stephen had been able to teach Lorelei. Thankfully, Loki remembered it and had the consideration to use it before taking out his rage on the Sanctum.

Stephen stepped tentatively into the dimension and took a moment to appreciate this good fortune as he surveilled the damage. Everything had been upended. The floor was littered with books, broken pottery and shattered glass. Part of the banister had been ripped away.

Loki sat slumped at the foot of the main staircase, his hair mussed and wild, his eyes red-rimmed.

Stephen knelt beside him and reached to brush a lock of hair back. Loki slapped his hand away. Stephen sighed and sat on the floor - close enough that Loki could lean on him if he chose to, but not actually touching him.

"Why," Loki asked after a long pause in a rough voice - a quiet accusation.

Stephen debated prompting him further, but decided it was pointless. Instead, he answered with a question of his own. "Did you actually want to die?"

Loki sneered. "You think I had a choice?"

"You think you didn't?"

"It was my *fate*. All this talk of destiny and choice, but when it really matters you cannot accept the necessary sacrifices that must be made."

"What makes you think you were a necessary sacrifice? Hela didn't know who her real parents were. How would dying change anything?"

Loki made a noise that might have been a laugh if it weren't so bitter. "Is that how you've worked it out? You tell yourself your savior complex is justified because there's a chance I can still alter her destiny?"

Stephen bristled. "Savior complex? You think I saved you out of a compulsive need to be a hero?"

"No, I don't think you want to be a hero. I think you want to be a god."

Stephen flinched. He knew there was some truth to that accusation. All doctors felt the rush of successfully defeating death. But that wasn't why he had saved Loki. "I didn't save you out of some twisted sense of self glorification. I saved you because I couldn't bear to watch you die!"

Loki snorted. "You still think you love me."

"No," Stephen snapped. "I *know* I love you. And if it makes me a selfish asshole who ripped a hole in the fabric of spacetime because I couldn't let you go, then I guess that's my fate."

Loki was silent for a while. Then he pulled away from Stephen and climbed to his feet. 

Stephen followed, sensing the impending collapse, catching Loki as he staggered and muffling a pained yell when the god slapped his hands again a little too hard.

Loki froze at the garbled sound. He had been so mindful of Stephen's injured hands when he'd been Lorelei. Even in the throes of labor. But in the heat of the moment he had forgotten himself.

"Look..." Stephen held his hands out in a non-threatening gesture. "You're exhausted. Even if you've healed, you lost a lot of blood. You should rest."

Loki stopped fighting and allowed Stephen to escort him out of the mirror universe. He said nothing until he was seated on the bed and a glass with a milky fluid was pressed in his hands. 

"Are you drugging me again?"

"No. It's just coconut milk. It's good for replenishing fluids."

Loki stared at him.

"Okay, I might have laced it with a pain reliever, but it's only enough to take the edge off."

Loki sipped at it tentatively and grimaced.

"I'll draw you a bath."

"I'm fine," Loki grumbled.

"Yeah, maybe, but you smell awful, so..."

Loki almost laughed at that. He sniffed at the "milk" again and did a quick spell to change it into a mug of tea.

Stephen gave him a displeased look.

"What? It was revolting. Too watery to qualify as milk and too cloudy to be water."

Stephen gestured and the mug turned into a glass of orange juice. "Better?"

Loki sighed and drank while Stephen disappeared into the tiny bathroom. By the time the Midguardian returned, he had drained the glass, refilled it (lacing it with a generous dose of Asgardian pain relief) and drained it again. He waved away the hand Stephen offered to help him up. "I can manage."

He stumbled into the bathroom, closing the door before Stephen could follow. He hesitated when he saw the way Stephen had arranged everything for him - the shampoo, conditioner and soap lined up in easy reach of the tub, a soft towel and robe draped over a rack on the wall. He thought of how Stephen had fretted over him...her...the last time she had been in that tub. How he'd soaked his t-shirt holding her laboring body and humming soothingly in her ear.

Loki shook himself of the memory and removed his clothing, easing his body into the warm water. Stephen didn't love him. He loved the illusion Loki had created for him. The beautiful seductress who bore his child. He might believe he could love the man "Lorelei" had turned back into, but that was only a delusion.

Loki cleaned his body slowly and methodically. He washed his hair and carefully worked the tangles out with the conditioner. By the time he was finished, the painkillers had fully kicked in and he relaxed in the cooling water as long as he could stand.

He startled when he heard the baby cry and instinctively crawled from the bath before he remembered that Stephen was watching her. The crying stopped and he stood frozen for a moment, stunned by the evidence of a mothering instinct.

He dried himself, wrapped the robe tightly around his body and crept quietly back to the room he had found them in earlier. The makeshift nursery.

Stephen had his back to the door. He was singing softly to the bundle in his arms, swaying gently. "We're gonna have a good time and no one's gonna take that time away. You can stay as long as you like. So close your eyes...you can close your eyes, it's all right. I don't know no love songs and I can't sing the blues anymore. But I can sing this song, and you can sing this song when I'm gone."

The words trailed away until he was just softly humming the melody. He kissed the baby and tucked her back into her crib, watching for a moment to make sure she had settled.

Loki debated fleeing the room before he was caught hovering in the doorway, but he knew it was pointless. Stephen already sensed his presence. Their eyes met as Stephen turned.

"Feel better?"

"How can you do that," Loki blurted.

Stephen blinked, thrown by the question. "Do what?"

Loki gestured vaguely at the room. "You act as if you don't know what she will become. How she will die."

"What am I supposed to do? She's a baby, Loki. None of that matters."

"It does matter! She will destroy Asgard and most of our people. She will die a wretched monster."

Stephen gestured for him to quiet down before their argument woke Hela and sighed. "Yeah, maybe. But right now she is a *baby*. Our baby."

"You still think you can change it? You think you can save her from her fate?"

Stephen threw up his hands in exasperation. "What do you want me to do? Nothing has changed. You want me to use the time stone right now and deliver her to Odin before we understand how or why or if that's even the way it's supposed to happen? For all we know that would only make it worse!"

Loki's eyes slid away from Stephen's, focusing on a random spot on the wall. He knew Stephen was making a valid point, but he was tired of feeling helpless, trapped by preordained events. Thor was right: his plans always managed to blow up in his face in the end. If he hadn't come up with his scheme to secure the throne, none of it would have happened. 

Maybe that was the answer.

"Would you use the time stone to prevent us from ever meeting?"

Stephen's breath caught in his throat. "No," he said quietly when he was able to speak.

Loki's eyes returned to Stephen's face, anger flashing across them. "Why? We would all be better off."

"Don't say that," Stephen pleaded, moving toward Loki, reaching out to him.

Loki dodged his hand deftly. "Don't *touch* me. You only think you love me because you were taken in by the illusion I created - the seductress. And now you think you can defy fate and fix everything, make us into some sort of perfect family. It won't work!" He squared his shoulders as his resolve hardened. "If you won't do it, then I will be forced to do it myself."

Stephen visibly panicked. "You can't..."

Loki was already moving, changing back into his leathers as he walked. He knew where Stephen kept the Infinity Stone. He and Wong had explained the history of all the stones to Stephen one day and Loki had partially explained how Thanos had used him to obtain the most powerful of all of them in an ultimately failed attack on Earth. Loki let them think the Tesseract had been destroyed with Asgard.

Stephen appeared in front of Loki. "Please don't do this."

Loki replicated himself and ducked around Stephen before he had time to identify which clone was real.

"You don't know how much damage you could do," Stephen tried when he caught up again. 

Loki slipped past him again and reached the podium where the artifact encasing the stone was kept. Stephen's hands covered his as he reached for it.

"You will remember everything. Dormammu killed me a thousand times and I remember every death. How it felt to be suffocated, crushed, impaled on a spike, torn apart...the stone doesn't erase your memories."

Loki looked into Stephen's desperate gaze. He had never attempted to manipulate time in this way before, so this was not a detail he had considered. It gave him pause, but only for a moment. "Then I will remember why it had to be done," he said.

He tore his hands from Stephen's grip, opened the Eye of Agomotto and vanished.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a hellishly busy month where I barely had any time to write and about five rewrites and changes in direction...I finally finished this chapter. Hopefully next month will be easier.
> 
> This chapter has allusions to the torture that fandom consensus says must have happened between the first Thor movie and The Avengers.

His plan was to intercept Lorelei on her way to meeting Stephen for the first time. He would convince her of the folly of her plan - tell her it was doomed to disaster. She would believe him. She *was* him.

But as he waited for her he thought about the look in Stephen's eyes when he realized he couldn't stop him. Would *he* remember any of it when the timeline changed? He was never supposed to know Lorelei's true identity. He was never supposed to know about the baby. Everything had become complicated once Thor had discovered his plan and forced Lorelei to return to Midgard. 

What would it be like, he wondered, to remember something that had never really happened? Would it be like a dream? Like he was remembering a life someone else lived?

How long would it be before the memories faded? Would they? He didn't think he could ever forget the look in Stephen's eyes as their bodies entwined. The gentle reverence of his touch. The feel of the first stirrings of life inside him. The agony of birth.

He thought of Hela again. Much as he wanted to believe she was an irredeemable monster, he had recognized her for what she truly was. A broken, damaged soul desperate for Odin to see her as worthy. Wanting to be loved, but convinced she didn't deserve it. She was his daughter. He had been blind to not see it before. 

Loki looked at the glowing time stone and recalled all the conversations he'd had with Stephen in the months before Hela's birth. If he was successful in changing the past, would Hela simply cease to exist or would her progeny merely change? Would she become the true child of Odin and Frigga as she believed herself to be? Or if Ragnarok truly could not be stopped would another take her place entirely - one that was beyond redemption?

He slowly spun time forward again until he found himself back in the New York Sanctum and returned the artifact to its pedestal. 

He found Stephen on the bed, dressed as he had been when he'd left, curled protectively around the sleeping bundle he had retrieved from the nursery. Waiting for her to disappear. He startled when Loki sat on the bed and blinked up at him with red-rimmed eyes.

"I couldn't," Loki said softly, an answer to a question that hadn't been asked. Trembling fingers wrapped around his wrist and he ignored his instinct to pull away.

Stephen felt the tension in him anyway. He stroked the soft leather that almost covered everything below Loki's neck, including the backs of his hands. "Why don't you want me to touch you," he asked softly.

Loki didn't respond. Didn't move.

Stephen sighed and cast a spell to send the baby back to her crib the same way he had gotten her out of it without waking her. He tugged Loki's wrist, coaxing him to lay down, then continued stroking the inside of his arm. "I didn't fall in love with Lorelei," he said after a long silence. "She seduced me, yes, and in the heat of passion I might have confused the lust I felt for her with love. But I have fallen in love with the person beneath the illusion - the one I have gotten to know these past few months." He stroked down the arm until he could take Loki's hand in a loose grip. "I know it can't last. You are still young by the standards of your people and I am already middle-aged by the standards of mine. I know it's foolish to think you would want to stay with me, but...please. Just let me have this a little bit longer."

"You haven't seen the real me," Loki muttered. 

"You mean metaphysically or the blue-skinned creature you turned into when I tried to get you back to this form?"

Loki stared at Stephen. The moments before he passed out were fuzzy. He didn't remember taking his Jotun form.

"I mean, the red eyes were kind of spooky, but otherwise you looked the same as you do now."

Loki cringed. "I am a monster."

Stephen let go of his hand and gripped his chin gently, coaxing him to turn his head until their eyes met. "No, you're not," he said softly.

Loki was silent until Stephen started to lean closer with the clear intention of kissing him. Then he blurted "do you really remember dying a thousand times?"

Stephen hesitated, then slowly eased back, letting his hand fall. "Uh...yeah. I mean, after the first six hundred they sort of started to blend into each other a little, but...yeah.

"Why did you keep coming back?"

"Because my world needed me to hold the line. Because my life..." Stephen stuttered as he realized the significance of what he was about to say. "My life was an acceptable trade for the lives of everyone on the planet."

"A necessary sacrifice," Loki said dully.

"It's not the same."

Loki sighed. "I know." He thought for a moment, then seemed to switch gears. "The pain lingers when I change form. Sometimes for years, even though the scars are long erased. Thanos never laid a hand on me. He always got his 'children' to do his dirty work. The worst was Ebony Maw. He is a sadist and his devotion to Thanos borders on religious worship. He delighted in making me scream and grovel until I vowed to do anything Thanos asked of me just to make it stop."

"Including leading the attack on Earth and retrieving one of the infinity stones for him."

"I thought I could double-cross him. I suppose in a way I have, even if it wasn't quite what I had planned. Thor took one of the stones back to Asgard and Stark put the other in his android. Since the loss of neither was my doing, he cannot blame me." He was saying too much. Revealing a weakness. Admitting he was afraid of Thanos and his "children". But he couldn't lie to Stephen anymore. The man who had cared for him tirelessly and pulled him from the brink of death. The man who looked at him as no one had ever looked at him before - who had seen the monster hidden beneath his skin and still claimed to love him.

The scarred fingers that had been stroking his arm transferred to his abdomen. "Does it still hurt," the doctor asked in a gentle, low murmur.

There was no point in denying it. His chest ached despite the fact that he no longer had breasts so full of milk that they felt ready to burst like overfilled balloons. Everything between his ribs and his groin felt like it had been removed and reinserted wrong. He had dreaded cleaning between his legs in the bath as he still felt like he had been torn open - like he should still be bleeding. He nodded.

His breath caught as Stephen bent over him, peeled back his tunic and kissed his abdomen. He had performed the maneuver only days ago, when the skin had been stretched around their daughter. Emotions welled in Loki that he couldn't quite understand and he feared for a moment that he might cry.

Stephen straightened and captured Loki's lips in a brief, tender kiss. He settled beside the Jotun, being mindful of where their bodies touched so he didn't cause him any pain. Loki was both grateful and annoyed by the gesture. He remained quiet and still as Stephen traced his features with light, trembling fingers.

"Is this really the form you are most comfortable in?"

Loki bit back a sigh. He had known this was coming. "You preferred me as a woman."

"I meant Asgardian."

Loki blinked. The human was annoyingly determined to defy his expectations. "It's the body I've had most of my life. I suspect my birth mother was Asgardian, but the only parents I ever knew were Odin and Frigga. Whatever my birthright...this is who I am."

"Well...I meant what I said. You're still you no matter what form you take." He traced Loki's jaw. "You're beautiful."

Loki captured the wandering hand and pressed his lips into Stephen's palm. "I'm afraid," he murmured into the scarred flesh.

"I know," Stephen replied softly. "I am too. But whatever happens - whenever it happens - we will get through it together. Just promise me one thing."

"Hmm?"

"Don't ever do something like that again. TALK to me before you go off half-cocked on some crazy plan. Especially if it involves using the time stone."

Loki's lips twitched in a half-hearted attempt at a smirk. He nodded, though he doubted that was a promise he could realistically make. He twisted his body closer to the humans and let his leathers melt away, replacing them with more Earth appropriate attire. He noted the relief that flickered in Stephen's eyes.

"You are correct that this cannot last," he murmured, reaching to gently run his fingers over the streak of white in Stephen's hair. "But not for the reasons you believe. Human lives are much too short. You will leave me long before I could ever grow bored of you."

A slow smile crept over Stephen's face as he realized the meaning of Loki's words. It was as close to a declaration of love as either of them had ventured. He eased his arms around the god, tugging him closer. "Rest," he whispered. "I will give you some more pain meds when you wake up."

Loki didn't really want to sleep, but his brief burst of energy was running out and the exhaustion of nearly two days of labor was creeping back in. He would have to face his destiny sooner than later, but there was no sense rushing it. And he did not have to face it alone.

He closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of Stephen's arms around him - lips occasionally pressing gently against his temple - and allowed himself to fall asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled with this chapter and it mostly came together in the editing stage when I tried to string together all the chaotic thoughts and images into a coherent narrative. Hopefully it works.

He woke in a cold sweat from a nightmare about his time at the mercy of Thanos' children.

"What is it, baby," Stephen slurred, barely opening his eyes.

"Nothing," Loki said quickly, breathing deeply, calming as the dream loosened its hold. "It's all right. Go back to sleep." He brought the sorcerer's hand to his mouth, pressing his lips to the knuckles.

Stephen hummed and closed his eyes again, easily giving in to the pull of sleep.

Loki lay awake, listening to Stephen's breathing deepen, his thoughts running wild. Thanos was coming. He could sense it. Of course, he'd known about the Titan's quest to gather the Infinity stones in a deranged plan to save the universe by destroying half of the beings in it, but he hadn't really cared before. He hadn't had anything to lose and Thanos wouldn't bother with him anymore after that botched mission.

But now...

The Tesseract had fallen into Loki's possession again. Lorelei had stolen it before Asgard was destroyed and only he knew where it was hidden, but it was only a matter of time before Thanos realized that. 

Did Thanos already know Stephen had the time stone? He must. Yet he hadn't come to collect it yet. He had been inexplicably quiet since the attack on Earth and nobody but him and possibly his children knew why. It was possible he was waiting until he knew the location of EVERY stone so he could gather them all at once and complete his plans before anyone could mount a defense to stop him.

This must be why Hela ended up the daughter of Odin. Stephen would send her back in time in a desperate effort to save her as Thanos laid waste to his world. Would they both die fighting the Titan?

Loki slipped from the bed carefully so as not to wake the human and crept to the nursery. 

Hela was awake and just beginning to fuss. Despite the evidence of a mothering instinct he had discovered earlier, Loki was unsure as he lifted her from her bed. He didn't have any experience with caring for infants. Nursing Slepenir for a couple weeks before retaking his Asgardian form hardly counted.

Stephen's cloak was just as lacking in confidence of his abilities as he was. It had been standing guard in the corner, but it moved closer as Loki picked up the baby and he could have sworn it was poised to snatch her from him should he do anything suspicious. Loki did his best to ignore it, as he always did.

He used magic to change Hela's diaper. No sense getting his hands dirty if he didn't need to.

She continued to whimper and fuss as he replaced the onesie Stephen had dressed her in. He picked her up carefully, uncertainly. "Shh," he whispered. "It's all right. It's..."

'Your mum?' he thought, swallowing.

He cradled her, trying his best to mimic the stance he'd seen Stephen use when soothing her. "It's all right," he repeated. "I'm here, darling." It was what Lorelei had called her on the occasions she spoke to the child growing inside her. Whether because she recognized him somehow or simply by coincidence, the infant quieted.

For a moment, he simply looked at her in wonder. At the tiny fists swinging aimlessly. At the features that were a perfect combination of his and Stephen's. At the eyes that he could no longer deny were the same steely blue as the woman who had tried to kill him - only failing, he now realized, because she had to, or else she wouldn't have been born.

Thor had been right, much as Loki hated to admit it. He couldn't change anything. He had to let her fulfill her destiny. He wasn't sure there was anything he could do to stop it anyway anymore. She was the child of two very strong willed beings from races inclined toward violence. Odin tried to focus that energy for centuries before she became too powerful for him.

She changed him, Loki realized. If it hadn't been for her, Odin might have treated him differently and he may never have wound up where he did. He may never have come up with a plan to take the throne of Asgard without bloodshed by seducing a sorcerer into giving him an heir.

Her destiny had been written the moment she had been conceived. 

Loki kissed her forehead, inhaling the scent of her deeply, shakily. This was why he couldn't have known his daughter's true identity until after Ragnarok, he realized. If he had known who he was really raising Sutur against, he doubted he could have gone through with it. He wished he hadn't known until after she had been sent back to Odin, but he had a feeling he needed to know that part now. Because if Thanos was really coming, Loki understood why he had to send her back. If she was left to survive the Titan's attack on Earth - an orphan among the rubble - Thanos would raise her as one of his slavish "children". Odin's parenting skills may have been flawed, but they were a far better alternative. An alternative Loki may never have considered if he didn't already know it would happen.

"You won't believe this," he whispered. "But I love you. And I'm sorry."

Hela blinked up at him innocently and then slowly drifted to sleep in his arms as he sang a lullaby he remembered his mother...their mother...singing to him when he was a child. 

He tucked her carefully back in her crib and nodded at the cloak that continued to stand guard. Part of the collar waved back at him and he wasn't sure if it was a nod or a far less charitable gesture, but he was inclined to believe the former as it seemed to have relaxed since he had first entered the nursery.

He crawled back into the bed carefully so he wouldn't wake Stephen. Although really, what Loki wanted to do was wake him by kissing him breathless and then invite the human to explore this new body and see if he could illicit the same responses he had days before with filthy promises to return the favor in kind. He wanted to make the most of what limited time they both had left (together or, in fact, at all). 

But it could wait until morning.

He closed his eyes and listened to Stephen's breathing for a few minutes before deciding he wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. And, he thought as he reached for Stephen, he was never much for delayed gratification.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, Thanos is coming. Which is why I have tags about temporary canon character death now. They WILL be temporary.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life has been batshit crazy for the past few months, so this update is very delayed. It just went through a rewrite a few days ago and a re-edit today, so hopefully it still makes sense. 
> 
> This chapter: Tony Stark and the acknowledgement that Thanos and his "children" tortured Loki before he arrived at the SHIELD facility in "The Avengers".

Tony Stark hadn't heard the name Stephen Strange since college. They had never really crossed paths then - although they had probably attended some of the same parties - but neither of them had ever been much for going unnoticed. Tony had seen his name on the list of people SHIELD considered a possible "weapon" to be monitored, but he hadn't paid much attention to it. So he was still surprised when a portal opened in front of him while he and Pepper were out jogging one morning and a bizarrely dressed Stephen had hastily introduced himself and implored him to help save the universe.

Having seem more than his fair share of craziness in recent years, Tony followed him through the portal without a second thought to anything but the fact that he was ditching Pepper before they had finished their run. She had understood and given her blessing though, as always.

"So you're a wizard now," Tony said as he took in the eccentric mansion Stephen led him into.

"Master of the Mystic Arts," Stephen corrected.

"That's what I said. A magician."

Stephen sighed inwardly. "It's not really magic."

"Still would've gotten you burned at the stake 500 years ago. Sorry, you said something about the fate of the universe being at stake?"

"Tony."

Tony spun toward the familiar voice, startled by the sudden, unexpected presence in the room. "Bruce? Where the hell have you been?"

"It's a long story," Bruce said, embracing his friend. "Thor brought me back."

"Thor? You were on Asgard when it was destroyed?" He had heard about the settlement of refugees from Asgard on Earth, but he only knew what had been in the news.

Bruce flinched. "Yeah. I've been helping with the resettlement. "And..." he glanced at Stephen, debating how much detail he should go into all at once "doing some genetic testing for the royal family."

Tony followed his gaze, eyeing Stephen. "And now you're helping a wizard save the universe?"

"You remember when Loki attacked Manhattan?"

A muscle in Tony's face twitched. "Of course I remember."

"You remember how Thor kept saying it wasn't the kind of thing Loki would do? That someone else must have been behind it? Well, it turns out he was right. That someone else is coming and he is a bigger threat than we have ever faced."

Tony straightened, squaring his shoulders. "Okay, I'm listening."

Bruce nodded to Stephen, who called "okay, you can come out now" over his shoulder. 

Stephen kept his eyes on Tony as Loki entered the room. He had known Tony would not react well to seeing the god again no matter how well prepared he was, but he hadn't anticipated the speed of Tony's reaction.

Tony's face barely registered his shock before he tapped the arc reactor in his chest and his suit seemed to flow out of it to cover him, ignoring Bruce's pleas for him to calm down. Stephen stepped in front of Loki, conjuring shields and bracing himself for impact as Tony aimed a blaster at him. 

"What do you want," Tony sneered. "What have you done to them?"

It took Stephen a moment to realize he was speaking to Loki. "He isn't controlling us," he said firmly. "Stand down, Stark."

"Tony, please," Bruce repeated helplessly.

Loki placed a gentle hand on Stephen's back. "It's all right," he said softly. "He can't hurt me. Step aside."

"He can't kill you," Stephen corrected. "He *won't* hurt me."

"I am not as convinced of that as you. If he hurts you, I may have to kill him and that might ruin our chances of defeating Thanos."

"What the hell is he talking about," Tony demanded.

"This is what I was trying to tell you," Bruce said placatingly. "Thanos. He was behind the Chitauri attack. He's coming and if we don't do something a whole lot of people are going to die."

Realizing that Tony was unlikely to shoot and was simply pointing his blaster at them in self defense, Stephen lowered his shields. "Show him what you showed me," he prompted.

Loki stepped cautiously closer to Tony. Tony pointed the blaster toward him. "That's close enough."

"I assure you I mean you no harm, but I really do need to come closer for this to work."

"It's okay," Bruce added. "He just needs to show you his memories of Thanos. What happened before the attack on New York."

Tony didn't move for several more seconds. His instincts warned him this could still be a trap. Loki had tried to take over his mind before - turn him against the rest of the team. But Bruce and Stephen both looked lucid and the closer Loki came, the more he realized that this didn't look like the same psychopath who had thrown him from the tower. He looked weary, broken...almost traumatized. Was it possible he had been controlled by someone else when he attacked Earth just as he had controlled Barton and Selvig?

The nanobots forming Tony's helmet retreated at his command, though the rest of the Iron Man suit remained. He lowered his arm, deactivating the blaster.

Loki approached him slowly, holding his hands up in a non-threatening gesture. "I just need to touch you for a moment," he warned.

Tony looked to Bruce for reassurance. Bruce nodded. 'Let him,' his eyes silently pleaded.

Tony stood tense, ready to fight if he needed to, while Loki pressed careful fingers to both of his temples. And then suddenly thoughts and images were flooding his mind. A strange alien with no nose hissing threats and driving large needles into him until he screamed. No, not him. Loki. He was seeing through Loki's eyes, feeling his pain and helpless terror. 

A purple giant was talking about Infinity Stones and vowing to not only end Loki's pain, but give him anything he wanted if he would agree to help retrieve them. Starting with the one being held in a laboratory on Earth.

More pain. Stretched out over a seemingly infinite amount of time. So generalized that Tony couldn't tell where it was originating from. Increasing until Loki broke and cried for mercy.

The cascade stopped just as suddenly as it had started and Loki backed away, allowing Tony to crash to his knees, gasping. Bruce rushed to his side, steadying him.

Tony looked up to see Stephen fretting over Loki a few feet away, cradling his face and murmuring softly. Loki nodded and covered the doctor's hands with his own gently, sparing a glance at Tony. A sort of understanding passed between them as their eyes met. Loki was not innocent, but he was also not a monster. And for as long as they shared a common enemy, at least, he would be their ally. 

"Okay," Tony panted. "What do we know about this Thanos?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am doing scenes from Infinity War out of order. At some point I may need a flowchart to map out where everybody is supposed to be.


	12. Chapter 12

Stephen found Loki hovering beside Hela's crib, just staring at her as she slept peacefully. He wrapped an arm around the god's thin waist and pressed against his side. 

"Can't sleep either?"

"I forgot about the naming customs of your world."

Stephen sighed. Honestly, he hadn't given it much consideration to her full name himself until Stark had asked with such obvious amusement if they were seriously naming her Hela Strange. "It's archaic. She doesn't have to take MY name."

Loki glanced at him, but returned his gaze to Hela. "Lokisdottir," he murmured. He shook his head. "It doesn't matter what we call her now. She will be Odinsdottir soon enough."

Stephen squeezed his arm around Loki gently. "It's just a name. She grew inside you. She will always be yours."

"Ours," Loki corrected.

"Well, as you once pointed out, my part was pretty limited."

Loki winced. "I...I was wrong to try to do this alone. I was wrong to do any of it."

"Hey..." Stephen reached his free hand to turn Loki's face toward him until their eyes met. "I have a lot of regrets in my life, but this? This isn't one of them."

Loki leaned into the human's touch, brushing the scarred palm with his lips. "He will come for you."

"I know."

Loki straightened suddenly and grabbed Stephen's wrist, dragging him from the nursery with an abrupt "come. I need to show you how you can hide the time stone."

Stephen didn't resist being dragged from the room, but he protested at Loki's words. "It's safer with me. I found a spell to prevent anyone taking it from me..."

"That's not enough," Loki interrupted. "It needs to be hidden somewhere only you can access." He held out his right hand, palm up, and a glowing blue cube appeared on it. "Like this," he finished.

Stephen reeled back at the sight of the Tesseract. "Is that..."

"The space stone. I took it from the palace vaults before Asgard was destroyed. I used it to escape."

Questions raced through Stephen's mind, but the first one he gave voice to was "does Thor know about this?"

"No. He believes it to be lost in the burning remains of our world. But as Thanos excels in finding what is lost and the stone cannot be destroyed..." He cast the spell to return it to the pocket universe where he had hidden it. "Hiding it is safer than allowing him to find it."

"He could just torture you into revealing it," Stephen noted with horror. 

"I have no doubt he will. Just as I fear he will do the same to you. But I know you would not let anyone else bear the burden of the time stone for you." He sensed Stephen was about to protest and continued before he had a chance. "I know you swore we would face this together, but I think it would be best if we didn't. We may make a formidable force together, but we are also each other's greatest weaknesses."

Stephen's argument caught behind his teeth and he practically growled in frustration. Loki was right. He had been driven half mad by his inability to spare Lorelei's suffering during Hela's birth. He had threatened Stark with bodily harm if he harmed Loki. Thanos could easily force him to hand over the time stone by doing just a fraction of what he had already seen him capable of in Loki's memories.

Loki cupped Stephen's face between his palms as he kissed him softly. "Please," he whispered.

Stephen nodded and pressed their foreheads together, squeezing his eyes closed and taking shuddering breaths, trying to force the memory of his lover's pained screams from his mind. "Stick to the plan," he murmured.

Loki, guarded by some remaining Asgard warriors, his brother and Dr. Banner, would take a ship to intercept Thanos. He would play the part of a prisoner - a traitor - and offer to help Thanos find the remaining stones in exchange for his freedom. It was a hail Mary plan at best, but given Loki's history with the Titan and talent for trickery it was their best chance.

Loki's lips twitched in something that might have been a smile. 

"Okay," Stephen said. "Teach me."

*******************

Thor found Loki in a quiet corner of the ship, gazing out of a window at the distant stars. 

"We were always warned against forming attachments with the humans," Loki murmured by way of greeting. "We were told our biology was incompatible, reproduction impossible. I suppose I understand why now. Odin hoped to avoid another Hela."

"You know that's not the reason relationships between Aesir and humans are discouraged," Thor rumbled. "You tried to warn me with Jane. Their lives are so short, they believed us to be gods. Our worlds are too different."

"*Our* world no longer exists."

Thor sighed. "The truth is...I broke up with Jane because I am a coward."

Loki turned to his brother, certain he must have misheard. Thor waved a hand in warning before he could interrupt. 

"Humans are fragile. When we nearly lost Jane to the Aether, I was reminded of that. I realized I couldn't bear it if I were the reason her already too-short life was made even shorter. And even after I knew she was safe, I dreaded the thought of having to face her mortality again. I didn't want to put her at any more risk. Nor did I want to watch her wither and die of age."

"What sort of monster you must believe me to be," Loki said quietly after a long pause. 

Thor smiled weakly. "Loving someone is never monstrous." 

Loki turned back to the window. "He would be better off without me."

"Are you certain of that?"

Before Loki could respond, he noticed movement outside the window. Another ship - an all too familiar ship - was moving toward theirs. All the fear he had been suppressing knotted tightly in his stomach. "He's here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somebody pointed out the Hela Strange thing on Tumblr. I figured Tony should be the one to bring it to their attention.


End file.
